


Question

by orphan_account



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, ZaDr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 18:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21378922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Zim has a question that only Dib can answer...
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 117





	Question

“...Dib.”

Zim stands in his lab, hand poised above a switch which is attached to a dastardly-looking machine.

“Zim, drop that hand _right now_! I’m _not_ going to let you control the we-”

“BE QUIET!” Zim shrieks.

Dib shuts his mouth, looking at Zim with exasperation.

“_What_.”

“...I have a question.”

“Then ask it, Zim, I don’t have all day.”

To Dib’s relief, Zim’s hand retreats from the switch. Zim clasps his hands behind his back and looks seriously at Dib.

“What is ‘_kissing_?’ I know such a superior species as myself has no need to-”

Zim continues talking, but Dib has tuned him out. Seriously? 10 years of time on the Earth and Zim doesn’t know about something stupid like kissing? They had both gone through high skool and Zim should have gotten a clue. But as it appears…

“-so even though I am superior in EVERY WAY... Dib? Have you been ignoring me?”

Dib will have to explain this or deal with an irate alien. Bracing himself, Dib speaks:

“_No_, I haven’t! Look, I’ll explain it to you but next time just Google it or whatever-”

“What is ‘Google?’”

Dib rubbed his temples. He should have had more coffee this morning - he did not have enough energy to deal with this. 

“Don’t worry. Um, ask your computer later. How can you have a computer but not... Anyways. Kissing is something you do with someone you have really strong feelings for,” Dib explains, avoiding Zim’s intense gaze.

“Strong feelings, eh?”

“Yep. They’ve gotta be _really_ strong. You can’t kiss just anybody. It’s reserved for a special person in your life.” Dib looks at the ground, shuffling his feet. “Why are you curious anyways? You haven’t been curious about human things before now.”

“LIES! Of course Zim is curious about the Urth!”

Dib knows, at this point, not to egg Zim on further. He also doesn’t especially feel like yelling right now.

“Sure, yes, whatever-”

“And how do people _do_ the kissing?”

Dib sighed, frustrated. “I don’t know! They put their mouths together and stuff.”

“_Eugh_!? But human mouths are so icky and germy! Yuck!” Zim mimes cleaning off his tongue. “This _does_ explain the touching between mouths which I observed in High Skool. Hm.” An arm from Zim’s PAK comes out with a tablet, which Zim taps on for a minute. Dib crosses his arms, waiting for this stupid day to be over. “Okay...Why? _Why_ would humans engage in such a _disgusting_ ritual?”

“It’s supposed to release chemicals in our brains that make us feel good and close to the uhh, kissing partner.”

“So it’s for bonding purposes…” Zim mumbles under his breath, tapping on his tablet some more before letting the PAK arm put it away. Dib shrugs, looking at the ceiling. Anywhere but at Zim.

“That’s - yeah, sure, whatever. Can we get back to what we were doing? Weren’t you trying to take over the Earth or whatever? I have an essay that’s due in a couple of days and I’d like to get back to- _whoa_!?”

Dib was slammed against the wall, knocking his breath out for a moment. Zim’s PAK legs surround him, caging him in. Zim’s face is close to Dib’s. Too close.

“Z-Zim?” Dib stutters, his heart in his throat. Dib’s eyes flit all over Zim’s face, taking in his features and cataloging them. Up close like this, his angular face, pensive as his red eyes narrow, actually looks kind of attractive. And then Dib’s traitorous eyes dart down to Zim’s lips.

...Look. Dib’s a grown man. He’s had a thought or two about his rival. He’s only human. So in a strange situation like this...it’s only instinctual.

“Kiss me, you disgusting fool,” Zim sneers, a wicked smile growing on his face.

It was instinctual. When someone’s face is this close...you have to kiss them, right? It’s only human nature, right?

That’s what Dib tells himself as he cranes his neck forward and leans in.

Zim and Dib meet in the middle of the most awkward, tight-lipped, close-mouthed, sweaty kiss the galaxy has ever seen.

Zim pulls back.

“Ugh! _That’s_ what kissing is? I can live without it.” Zim lets his PAK arms retract, dropping his feet to the ground.

“Wait!” Dib exclaims, surprising them both.

With sweaty palms, Dib grabs Zim’s shoulders. 

“Kisses...can be better than that,” he explains, second-guessing himself. Was he seriously about to offer to kiss his rival? For a second time? And why did Zim even kiss _him_ in the first place? 

Why had Dib wanted Zim to kiss him?

“Hmm…” Zim considered, tapping his foot. “Very well. Bestow kisses upon the Zim once more.”

“Um, okay. Can you...with your PAK…”

“Ah? Sure, sure.” Dib lets go of Zim’s shoulders and Zim quickly activates his PAK legs, raising himself to Dib’s height. “Now go on. On with the kissing!”

“Ugh, jeez.” Dib caresses the side of his rival’s face, feeling the angular cheekbones he has admired secretly for so long. “You’re such an entitled bastard.” 

Dib kisses Zim once more, with less pressure than last time. A caress, in a more intimate way. Zim responds, letting his jaw relax, settling into the kiss. 

They separate with a small pop. 

“There. That’s kissing, Zim.” 

They lock eyes, really seeing each other for the first time.

“...I want more.”

“...Me too. But we need to talk about this.”

“Why? We improve our bond as rivals by kissing, correct?”

Dib paused. How had Zim come to _that_ conclusion? 

Oh...Dib had forgotten to specify that kissing was romantic. Shit. Zim probably thought that he was expressing his hate or something equally dumb.

But looking into Zim’s eyes, Dib didn’t want to tell him. Not yet. Maybe it was selfish of him, but this was a chance that he might never get again. And so…

“Yeah, of course, Zim. That’s...exactly right.”

And Dib leaned in once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Drop a kudos or a comment if you liked my fic.


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